Facebook Post

I love being a mom to the most beautiful baby girl in the world- let's just get that fact down right away. 

I saw the most depressing Facebook post. It was one of those relics of email forwards that "make you think" but just remind me of tacky Dollar Store plaques, mass produced with cheesy sayings. This particular post was titled Not My Turn and had a long list of things this mother didn't have a turn for because she had children. Some were obvious to me- not being able to go where you want immediately when you want, getting butterflies on a first date or planning a wedding. I get those things, but then the list included not exploring interests and hobbies or not attending to their wants and needs. While some things need to be put a on a brief hold- I don't wood burn unless Alex can attend to Phoenix- putting all NEEDS aside?? No wonder there's a birth decline. That's a horrible way to put motherhood in front of everything else. You have to take care of yourself, you simply cannot pour from an empty cup. 

As I read on for the turn this person and what I was supposed to have, it just didn't seem worth giving up trips to Greece or taking a shower. It was just things like looking at squishy baby cheeks and having finger smudges on the windows. It was brief and ridiculous. It could have said so many beautiful things like describing how the first smiles will melt your heart, how their little head smells intoxicating or how you feel when they stop crying in your arms and no one else's. It didn't, it talked about how Popsicles make problems go away. 

There weren't many comments on this post, but the one that stuck out to me was a typical enjoy it because it goes by too quickly and ended with, "When it's all over you'll be lost". No wonder you're lost, you haven't been tending to yourself for 18+ years!! 

I knew before I had Phoenix that I just couldn't be that kind of mother. I had to have a life that didn't only involve her. I would always be there to support her and raise her, but what kind of mother would I be if I lost myself completely raising her? What kind of person would she grow up to be if I did that?